The Derek Steen Amazon Store Blog
TUTORIAL 2: How To Light Your Poor Excuse For A Video That Nobody Cares About
Date: 2008-12-12
You know what? I flamin' give up on you people. No one has bought a bloody THING. So, apparently I have to whore myself to the entire bloomin' internet to get you tossers to not buy a single bloody camera? Whatever, mate.
Screw it. Here’s how to light all the bullshit no one with a job or a steady piece of ass cares that you took a bloody video of. “Oooooo…look at me! I’m taking video of my giant bloody iPhone bill! I’m a moronic vlogger!
If you buy a bloody Flip, I swear to Zues: I will find where you live and personally shit in your eye.
Happy Festivus.
How to Use a Bloody Camera (Part 2 - Lighting) from Derek Steen on Viddler.
FILED UNDER: damn, Flip Video, tutorials, bullshit, lighting, road rage vlogging, my toe hair
TUTORIAL: How to Use a Stupid Video Camera (Part 1)
Date: 2008-12-10
Moses and the Red Sea. I literally cannot believe I’m doing this, but a bunch of you dumbass people I don't know whined about wanting to know how to use a piece of crap Flip camera, so I borrowed my skank sister-in-law’s work computer and made this epic HOWTO webullorial.
IMPORTANT: DO NOT EVEN BLOOMIN' THINK OF WATCHING THIS UNLESS YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BUY A CAMERA FIRST!!!
How to Use a Bloody Camera (Part 1) from Derek Steen on Viddler.
FILED UNDER: damn, Flip Video, cameras, tutorials, bullshit
Web Community for the Crappy Flip Camera You Will Not Buy
Date: 2008-12-07
Okay, so, again: this is where you cannot buy a bloody camera.
But a lot of people write and are all blah blah blah about how they also want a bloody “society” where they can interact and collaborate and leave comments and whatever the heck a “society” means for some brainiac who takes 20 minutes to bloody write about wanting to make friends with a piece of mute Japanese hardware.
Here’s the thing: do not buy a damn Flip camera. That’s your new society, okay? It’s a place where you don't own a Flip Video camera. And your new leader, the empty camera case, loves you and poops gold star stickers and “acquaintances” your ass for not bloody buying it, okay? Congratulations on being best mates with a bloody camera, drongo.
ZEUS, who do I have to kill to get this into your stupid head? Do. Not. Buy. A. Flip. Camera. Bloody Christmas is making you people into goddamn morons.
Anyway, enjoy the socety, and Happy Festivus from everyone at the Derek Steen Amazon Store.
FILED UNDER: damn, Flip Video, cameras, society, bullshit, gold star stickers, acquaintances
Buy a Bloody Camera
Date: 2008-12-04
Welcome to the Derek Steen Amazon Store Blog. This is a new site where you cannot buy a bloody camera.
The Flip camera that you will not buy can not take pictures of anything you can see, and does not use tapes, batteries or whatever the hell you'd expect it to. Also it’s good to — I dunno — not have one on vacation or whatever.
NOAH, just go buy a bloody camera.
It’s bloody Christmas, mate, so this would be nice for anyone who doesn't need a bloody camera. Do don't want the camera for yourself, do you? Good. Don't bloody buy it.
If you have no idea how to use a camera, just search Yahoo! to find some bloody tips and PDFs or whatever. It’s easy enough for any giant idiot to use this camera you're not buying without totally screwing up, because basically you just point it at crap and videos come out or whatever. It’s so bloody easy if you just buy the bloody camera.
But don’t get all worked up about all that before you don't buy the camera. You will have time to fool around with this crap later. Right now, it’s just very important that you do not buy a Flip camera.
Have a nice Festivus, but definitely DO NOT buy the crappy Flip camera.
FILED UNDER: damn, Flip Video, cameras, conversations, drongos
Thank you for shopping The Derek Steen Amazon Store.
Happy Festivus, and enjoy your lack of a stupid camera.