I wrote this on/around the 30th of May, 2014. Like many of my blog posts, I keep them in draft state for years. Now, I’m choosing to publish them.
May I thank someone? I’d like to thank someone. Perhaps it’s science. Perhaps it’s my parents.
I’d like to thank the universe for my life being so grand. (Okay, I know many people are living a tough life in many places. I’m not discounting that by stating ‘My life is so great… la dee dah.’. I just want to acknowledge everyone and everything in my life.) In the past few years I’ve spent my day-to-day somewhat on autopilot. I soak up as much as I can, but there’s the mindless automation of commuting, working (I’m great at what I do, so sometimes I don’t even need to think to interact with and be kind to customers), and creating art. You know, the stuff that comes naturally. Maybe it isn’t autopilot… it just feels like it a little. Too few new experiences?!
I don’t want to dwell on my greatness nor the misfortunes — read: different lifestyles(?) — of others. However, I notice when others are affected by something I’m not. Poor eyesight; driving and operating a car; only being able to afford fast food; missing limbs; fame; poor education (in a field I’m familiar with); lack of travel; applying makeup in order to go outside; a woman’s menstrual cycle; medication; disease. Diseases. What the heck is up with them?! I’ve been sick. Mostly when I was younger. Thankfully, those illnesses were nothing that didn’t fix itself or just required a week of antibiotics.
I’m so proud of the people I see living their lives with a brave face or a pair of glasses. If I had to take daily medication(s), then I’d probably be dead. (Although, I do pretty well with routine(s). You know, getting dressed and the like.) Lately, I’ve been almost forgetting to grab my helmet before biking to work. That scares me. ‘Oh, Derek. C’mon. Splitting your head open on the side of the road is hardly something you should be scared of.’, you might be thinking. Well, that’s why I’m being thankful for my life.
No, my life isn’t perfect. Do I have ailments? Not really. I dislike the fact that my body sleeps so deeply (I’ve started to hypothesise that this is because I’m thinking about many things; this can turn in to a dream or just be strong brain activity) that it can be a struggle to wake every morning — even when I sleep on my bed of choice (a rug on the floor). Once or twice a year, I have a conscious fainting event. If anyone ever asked me the question ‘Have you fainted before?’, then I would likely not consider those “events” as fainting. Although, the more I think about it, the more it seems like I do have experience with fainting. It usually occurs if I’ve been sitting in the same position (perhaps sitting on my legs; blocking blood flow) for a long time. I have spent a good portion of the last decade sitting for an extended period of time. I usually don’t see any affects from that since I’m fairly active (biking and frolicking, mostly).
There are these rare times where I stand up and I can feel myself beginning to blackout. My first one or two experiences of this were luckily near soft objects, so I feel — still conscious — without hurting myself. There have been times when I’ve tried to catch myself from falling but bumped my head on a table or a wall. There’s never any pain. It’s weird. I’m weird. I’ve learned to understand the blackout/fainting is coming and I hold on to something stable as my legs begin to give out and I gracefully fall to the ground. Once there, it only takes 3-10 seconds before my body sorts things out and I can stand up again.
That’s me. I’m thankful to be who I am, and for everyone who has had a positive (read: everything is positive) impact on my life. I’m also thankful for everyone who suffers from ailments or stresses and chooses to live on. There’s lots of cake to be eaten, frolicking to be endured, and yoga to be enjoyed, so don’t give up until we’re able to do all those things on Mars.
This post was inspired by a video about Lyme Disease, “Under Our Skin“.